Wednesday, 23rd February, 2005.

Walk up a long ago road covered with moss
Into the woods
There's snow forecast
I want to lose myself in a blizzard
No snow here though
Just distant traffic and birds speaking to one another
Sit on a dead tree
Grey sky

Grey feathers spread across the moss
A beak: bloody flesh still attached
Red against pale green
A siren, far off

All around the crows shout about me
Snagged by brambles
Whipped by thorns
I dread other humans
Tiny flakes fall
Cold dead skin

Push through spiny undergrowth
A muddy plateau. Frozen ruts
The sound of traffic and aeroplanes
Hard to think
Leaning against barbed wire
Two flocks of birds, above the bypass

An unattended fire dying
A circle of hot grey ash
A bird dips then plummets
A cold east wind
Into the woods. A snowy path
Walk into an abandoned quarry
Caves everywhere
Warm air that smells of blood drifts out
And I'm too scared to go very far in

I lose my way
Emerge blinking from the woods
A golf course
I'm hungry
I wish it would snow
A dark pubic thicket in the crotch of a beech
A ruined house
A sign; private woods no access
Branches glow in the sunlight

Look out at the sky from the top of this hill
I think I'm surrounded by blizzards
One swoops over
Walk into it, the sun still out
My shadow clear as summer
Snow down my neck
Watching valleys full of snow blow towards me
No shelter; eyes watering from the cold wind
Snow faster and faster, tapping on my coat
Falling fast
I'm becoming a snow man
Hands too cold almost

Sun in the distance
This will be over soon

The cloud departs: a trailing ghost.