We invite you to take part in a vitally important Survey, covering consumer lifestyles, personal habits, opinions, sexual preferences, hidden fears, looming terrors, crushing humiliations, tearful recriminations and unfulfilled ambitions.
We hope that you can assist us, as it is important for us to have as much information about individual citizens as possible. We are in the business of data collection; providing important service initiatives and financial opportunities to businessmen. These businessmen and women need satisfaction, and they are willing to pay handsomely to keep in touch with the ordinary consumer; to search for the hidden crevices in your empty, confused lives.
NO DATA is a division of Anonymous Industries, which in turn is part of a huge transnational corporation that you don't need to know about, apart from the fact that it's more powerful than a Government, but less accountable, unelected, and possibly even more unscrupulous. NO DATA will hold your details, which we will then sell to hundreds of other companies so that they can flood you with more junk mail than you dreamed possible. You will also be bombarded with faxes, eMails, telephone enquiries and direct marketing initiatives. In fact, you are already not a private citizen, as most of the details you have ever written, along with information about your address, habits, financial affairs and political persuasions are already held by upwards of 300 databases and innumerable Political and Military organisations. You may as well get used to it.
The survey is easy to complete. It's mainly a matter of clicking the appropriate button. Some questions may ask detailed personal questions about your partner. Others ask about you, your home, your fragile emotional stability, and your purchasing habits. It doesn't matter - all the information you give will be of use to us, if not financially, then politically. Maybe we'll choose you for a focus group!
In anticipation of your unthinking collaboration, I would like to thank you personally for your time in completing this Survey. Remember: we really care.
To start your survey, please click the link below;